Start With WHY

I hope with all of my heart that I inspire others. 

Being an educator is truly a gift in my life.  I love getting to know people (of all ages) and supporting them through the process of learning new things and recognizing their own talents and abilities. 

In my role as an elementary school principal, I have found myself feeling overwhelmed by the list of new initiatives students and educators are being asked to coordinate and participate in.  I have immersed myself in Simon Sinek's work this summer in an effort to find additional ways to continue the growth of a positive and authentic culture in my school and to help our educators identify their passions, prioritize their work, and reflect on what is most important.  I want educators to be able to use their WHY to stay passionate in their work, inspire their students and contribute to the learning of their colleagues.  (There is an endless amount of research that shows the impact of a positive school culture and student achievement, like this.)

One of the things that validate starting with WHY is that it is rooted in brain science!

Taken from a presentation I'm creating for PD with administrators linked here.

There are a lot of educators who have used Sinek's work to inspire them. I came across a blog post from Three Teachers Talk entitled, "Starting With WHY" , that explains the importance of educators communicating their WHY to students.  Look at how powerful it is:

-Three Teachers Talk (2016)

  I was so impressed and moved by the Three Teachers Talk blog post that I wrote the following comment.

As you can see, I wrote this response on July 2nd and I have not been able to get it out of my mind since then.  I am so concerned that talented educators are going to leave education because of the added demands and I am committed to building a trusting school culture where students, staff, and families feel safe to take risks in order to learn and grow.  Regardless of my role in education, I will always stay connected to my roots as a teacher.

I decided to reach out to educators on Twitter to see what their WHY was!

Click here for link to this tweet.

The amazing Tracy Cramer responded with a Ted Talk she made explaining how she found her WHY in 54 words!

Other educators shared their WHY on this padlet: Start With WHY Educator Share

So, here are my next steps!  I am finalizing two professional development experiences- one for the district administrators in August and the other for staff on opening day.  BUT WE NEED TO DO MORE THAN PD.  I need your help.  We need to find a way to use WHY to guide our work more directly in education, to keep passion in education and to prioritize our initiatives.  Please share your suggestions, experiences, and comments below!

End of Year Stress

I always feel like this is the time of year that we run 100% on adrenaline- there are so many things to do and we're balancing several things at once. The last month of school is filled with so many to-dos, and sometimes we let the tasks overwhelm us and change the way we react and support the students who need us most.  I sent the following message out to staff this morning with hopes of supporting them and our students through this end of year transition.

I am going to make an assumption (based on some observations) that our students are beginning to sense the end of the year is near. We may see students exhibit behaviors that we haven't seen for a while OR new behaviors that leave us wondering. I found an article (linked here) that reminds of WHY this happens and how to support students through this transitional time. 

"These students may begin acting out, appear less focused, and possibly shut down. Also, to adults, youthful fear and anxiety may look like anger."

In addition, the article reminds us of what stress does to the body.

"Under significant stress, the brain becomes hyper-vigilant, hyper-focused, reactive, and emotional. When stress hijacks the emotional limbic brain, we are left in a survival response as the prefrontal cortex shuts down and turns off. The frontal lobe allows us to think through choices and consequences, plan, prioritize, problem solve, and emotionally regulate with focused attention. When a continuous stream of fear, anxiety, and worries seizes our frontal lobes, our ability to think through experiences and challenges is compromised."

I want you to know that I recognize how frustrating behavior management can be at this time of year, but I also want to remind you how important it is to dig deep inside yourself to monitor your response, stay calm (at least on the outside), and ask for support from colleagues or myself if you need it.

I hope this is helpful to all of you. I support you and know how hard you are working. We've got this!

As a follow-up to this message, I am going to begin this week's staff meeting by having them write a letter to their most challenging student.  They will not have to share this letter with anyone, but I'm hoping this process will give educators some quiet time to connect with this student. How do you help staff and students with the end of year stress?

How far one can go...

I wrote this blog post in March 2018.  It was the first time I ever shared my 2001 marathon story publicly and I wanted to provide insight into WHY I am who I am.  I am resharing today because this is the first "Marathon Monday" that I've been in Boston since 2001.  The idea of "How far one can go" has taken on a new meaning during this pandemic. So many people are willing to "risk going too far" and realizing "how far one can go".   I hope this serves as some inspiration for those who need it and gives some the push to put write about their experiences, too.  (April 20, 2020)


I became a distance runner after college. Running made me feel good- mind, body and soul. I proudly trained for, ran and completed my first marathon in Boston in 1999. This experience taught me so much about my strength and endurance and how far one can go.

I enthusiastically decided to run Boston again on April 16, 2001, but it was a last-minute decision, so I didn’t have a number. A friend knew a friend who had registered, but not running, so I was able to get her number, and I ran under the name “Melissa Hamburger”.

Most things felt the same about my second marathon- I was inspired by the runners around me, the streets were lined with fans holding signs and shouting words of encouragement, and I ran the course with a smile on my face, taking it all in. I monitored my pace with my running watch to be sure I wasn’t going too fast. I also stopped at every hydration station, alternating water, and Gatorade each time. Everything was going great!

It wasn’t until I crossed the finish line, after just over 4 hours of running, that I started to feel different. I had the chills and my body was shaking, so I got a mylar wrap and headed to the medical tent. I rested for a bit, and my family met me there to take me home.

I felt weak, but I got up from the medical tent with my mom, aunt, and boyfriend by my side and headed home. Leg one out of Boston was on a train, and as soon as the train starts moving, I got sick. It was so embarrassing, but my mom was there to take care of me.

I really don’t remember much about the train or the car ride back to my apartment. I do remember asking for water (lots and lots of glasses) in my apartment and my mom talking to the doctor, and my boyfriend leaving for the store to buy broth for me. That’s it. That’s all I remember.

My next memory was seeing my brother and sister-in-law holding a framed picture of my baby nephew so I could see it- I was laying down looking up at them and everything was blurry. I didn’t know where I was. I remember smiles on their faces and nurses coming to see me. I was in a hospital bed and I had been for 4 days.

When I learned about the scare that I put my family and friends through over the previous four days I was overwhelmed with sadness. On Marathon Monday, when I stopped remembering, I had passed out in my apartment. I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital where they pumped me with fluids. I started to seize, and they tried to reach my primary care, Dr. Richter. They called the wrong Dr. Richter (they found two) and although he didn’t know me, he agreed to meet me at the hospital he was affiliated with, Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. I was transported by ambulance to MGH...how far one can go.

Dr. Richter and his team saved my life. They determined that I was suffering from hyponatremia (I was the sixth documented case in the United States at the time). I had too much water in my body which caused my sodium and potassium levels to drop. I was put in a medically induced coma so they could treat me and so my body could rest and heal. While I was healing, my family was alternating shifts by my bedside, waiting and hoping that I would wake up. What a horrible thing to go through.

As I mentioned before, I woke up after 4 days. I was then discharged from the hospital the next day. It took me several months to get back to 100% and my biggest healing points were not physically, but mentally. I had lost control of my body and that was hard to comprehend.

So, why am I sharing this story? This happened 17 years ago. So many wonderful things have happened in my life since then...I got married, have two beautiful kids, I moved to the same street as my brother and his family, my mom is a few minutes down the road, I am an elementary school principal, and I still go out on the road for a jog a few times a week. Life is good and I work hard to find the positives in every day, but when I start to see runners doing their long runs in preparation for the marathon in January or February, and the banners decorate the light posts along the route, I am reminded of what happened to me.

I still do not want to be in Massachusetts on Marathon Monday. I still get worried when someone I know says they’re going to run a marathon. Since 2002, my husband has planned surprise getaways for April vacation so I’m not in the state for the marathon. This vacation tradition has turned a really hard day and week into a happy memory maker.

I know we all have life events that test us and teach us how far one can go. I want you to know about this one because I think it explains a lot about me. Dr. Richter saved my life at Massachusetts General Hospital on Monday, April 16, 2001. I wake up every day committed to giving back to others. I take meaningful risks to grow and learn. I try to appreciate and celebrate the people in my life. I like to give people gifts and cook for them. I also have a tendency to work too much. I have been told by colleagues that I am the glue that keeps things going. I follow-through to a fault. I think I am always trying to push myself to see how far I one can go.

"Lil-Pump"- an email to my staff!

Below is an email I just sent out to my staff.  I'm trying to be transparent, sharing pieces of myself and my family in an effort to be "real" and grow together.

Dear Team,

I woke up thinking I wanted to share "Lil-Pump" with all of you.

My son Max is in 4th grade and last night was his open house and concert.  My husband (Michael), daughter (Lucy- 12 almost 13) and I got to see all the great things Max is learning...which is always so eye-opening and exciting.

Taking a step back from the night I realized that my son has really found his identity.  His work reflects what he is passionate about and all of his unique interests.  "Lil-Pump" exemplifies who he is as a 10-year-old.  He loves rap music, is fascinated with technology and how things work, and loves to find ways to simplify the world and responsibilities.

I'm sharing because I know we all have these moments in life- both at school and at home.  Take the time to celebrate the people in your life...and appreciate all they bring to this world.  

Thank YOU for all that you do!

How are you sharing your life with your staff?  Please comment below!